2 posts tagged “health”

So, I love food.  Really, love it.  Sometimes, I dress myself up as a Chef just so I can feel closer to food.  My doctor says it's completely normal though.  Isn't that right Dr. Snuggles?

Long story short, we had a lengthy meeting today at work, so lengthy, lunch was purchased for us which is always cool.  We ate some fine Chinese cuisine, mine strewn with sesame and chicken.   All seemed ok.  That is, until it hit me.  Yeah, that it.

So, went home a little early today and feel much better now.    Safe to say though, there was no physical activity present that could be slated as exercise other than my standard walks to work.  I feel that this is understandable and excusable given my circumstances of digestion woes experienced this afternoon.

Aside from not being able to really sort my feelings on my friend's murderer being caught and the resurfacing of that painful memory, I've been a little burdened with family matters lately to be honest, which has kept me from my tasks regrettably.  The 5ish-day hiatus was mostly due to things just finally getting the best of me really.  My Dad is still out of a job and it's leaving my parents in a tight spot.  Several factors play into the whole matter, most of which deal with poor health of my parents that deter them from doing physical work even to the degree of standing for hours that makes their hunt for gainful employment difficult.  At any rate, it's got me pretty stressed for the most part.  My dad's a fine, fine Salesmen and it worries me that he won't find a job that can pay the bare minimum that my mother and him have set for just getting by.  I've as well been sending what spare cash I have and am starting to stress out from that as well knowing that I'm in no shape to fully help their financial perils.  At any rate, wish I had some connections or something where I could get my dad some great sales job and be done with this black cloud above my family and I for the past nine months. 

I'm quickly running out of optimism when my father calls me daily for advice and a pick-me-up.  Hard part for some to understand is that given my life, is that my parents have just me and my sister for support.  There's no grand circle of friends for them to call on nor can they rely on their relatives for a multitude of reasons.  So, when the worst comes knocking on their door, the call for help falls usually with me as they've really got no one else to fall back on. It's incredibly hard to watch your parents face something like possibly losing their home and health care knowing your best attempts to help haven't been able to slow it, let alone stop it.   Not an easy task to put the fate of your parents to chance and hope that it all just turns out ok while you try desperately to think about what they're going through facing their mid-60's without a penny saved, failing health and bills they can't pay.  It used to matter how they got there but right now, bringing up their mistakes serves little more than rubbing salt in their wounds.  All the while, I know that we all must face our own obstacles and demons and my parents, theirs but that's something much easier said when you're not front-row to the spectacle. 

I guess all in all, I just needed to write that all down as I like to internalize things a lot and putting it down here helps lift some of the weight that's been heavy on my shoulders recently.  I've been a therapist in one way or another for my parents since I was old enough to understand why they'd argue and I'm just ready for them to find some happiness and peace in their lives.  If I could get one wish, it'd be that their last years on this earth could be spent worrying more about getting rid of their sock-line tans than if they can sneak one more late month in on an already late mortgage so they can afford their diabetes medications.

At any rate,  just needed to vent via blog. 

Activities

I did get my draw on again and am quite pleased as a matter of fact.   Got my draw on real good.  Feel the sheer power, of the Gnome.

Gnome

There's an interesting realization that happens when you realize how the human mind can make things important simply so that there is something important.  The realization doesn't happen, of course, while you're proving that this something is important by indulging to the theory.  This realization happens when you isolate yourself from this something.   The realization occurs when you realize suddenly, the only thing that has changed is a noticeable improvement without it and that what is important may at times, not be at all related to what you can do but related to what you can not do.   

Was there a lesson learned after 30 days of restraining myself from something that had become a rust on my life?  A new-found respect for what I can do instead of what I want to do and that feeling accomplished is more important than feeling busy.  I've wanted to make a comic since I was a kid, I've had ideas since then as well and for almost three years, I had sat on a pile of drawings that I was convinced stood as proof I had tried.  In 30 days, I went from memories to ideas and now I've got a detailed story in my head, a list of characters and a plot for something I had only fragmented ideas regarding.  Does it matter if in 30 days I don't have a site, a finished 3-panel intro and a syndication deal?  Not at all.  Instant gratification is for lottery winners and gamblers.  My thought is, I could have rushed something or I could have refined something and when you're trying to enter into something with thousands of competitors, rushed doesn't cut it I'd like to think.  There's being done to be done and then there's being done when it's done. 

This 30 (31 if you count today) days became less about what I wasn't doing and much more about what I was doing.  Discipline is what I feel this month was about and it was a feeling I'd allowed to become uncomfortable.  That hidden immaturity we all have where indulgence is more enjoyable than restraint became too prevalent in my life and there's a high-amount of peace I feel knowing I've targeted that immaturity.  The time where I was the most active in playing games was when I was least active in being a good person I've realized to be true. Hours behind a computer merely spending time did just that, it spent time.  It's a necessary revelation because while I lack the responsibilities associated with having a child, I still neglected those I care for, including myself and that's always the sure sign something needs to change.

In 30 days I rediscovered something inside of me that I had replaced long ago with a soft glare and mouse-click.  I had for so long neutered my creative spirit by giving it an easy target.  I've replaced an easy target with a much harder one and with that, hitting that target will be much more satisfying.  It was less about me giving up games and more about me giving up excuses.  I've built a good habit and that's irreplaceable.  The nail in the rail or the coffin now, is if I keep going.  I want to keep going and keep improving now that I've seen it's not a fool hearty venture.  And that is exactly what my desire is. Success, as my girlfriend Nicole says, is to hit a goal and then ask what's next?   So, here's what's next.

I've proven that I don't need games and that they're not a priority. What isn't important is that I stop playing video games.  It's easy to stop something if you just replace it with something easier.  What is important is that I keep making progress towards my goals on a daily basis and doing something outside of my comfort level.  Work hard, play hard is what I need to do, in that order.  As long as I keep improving myself and never settling I'll be accomplishing something. With that in mind, April I've gained a new habit, a new discipline.  I'm making a comic now.  I've improved my confidence and I feel pride every time I draw something that makes me feel inspired. 

For my next 30 days, there's a new habit I need to build momentum behind and that is my health. My dad and mom both have diabetes, both have health problems because of that.  Already, I see the same bad habits that brought them to this point present in my life.  Lack of exercise and poor diet.  For me, and this is for me, diet has always been easier than exercise.  While that of course, isn't evident at all with April's track record of dining, it's still true.  If I had to choose between running and eating a bag of carrots, I'd eat two bags of carrots.

May 1st, today, I've began my next 30-day assignment.  Today I worked out for 30 minutes, went running and lifted some weights.  Tomorrow I will work out, meaning I'll break a good sweat and do something considered strenuous for at least 30 minutes, every single day in May.

To some of you, perhaps those that already do this and more, this might sound like nothing but to me, 30 minutes a day, 930 minutes of working out (31 days in May) would be most likely 800 minutes more than I've worked out in the last five years.  Yeah, begs the question of how am I so incredibly sexy without working out at all? Who knows.  I'm no doctor.

If I can work out 30 minutes a day on top of the 30-45 minutes a day I spend walking to work, I'd have at least an hour a day during the work-week that I was exercising.  That's a huge change in my lifestyle and one I desperately need.  Yesterday, as I was walking, I nearly felt something slightly-jiggle when I jumped over a curb and as a guy, that's not desirable. Be it known, I don't feel I'm overweight but there's definitely some extra padding there, padding that makes me not want to be shirtless on a beach.

Starting tomorrow I'll start the same regimen as I had for April.  I'll still draw and keep working on my comic.  I'll still track progress on what I accomplish each day. If I decide to play a video game, it'll be only after I work out, draw and spend time with Nicole, no exceptions.  It'll be to enjoy playing a game and not to spend time.  I want nothing to do with working at playing something anymore.  As well, I'll work out in some fashion 30 minutes every day of the month of May. Am I trying too much at once?  No.  This is me committing to do something I want to do as well as another thing I should do every day for a month so that I build another good habit.  As I do this, I'll still watch and record what I eat, what I weigh, what I draw and what I do for a workout and by the end of May, my goal is to be in better shape and more importantly, not terrified of exercise. Seriously, I hate working out.  Now, if included in that I can look all Brad Pitt in the abs department, well hey, even better.

Quick Facts

Weight: 249
Diet: Breakfast Burrito, Coffee with sugar and cream, Yogurt with fruit and granola, Fruit Punch Vitamin Water, Lemon pound cake, 2 Slices of Stuffed Crust Pizza, 3 wings, 2 cinnamon sticks and 2 glasses of Mountain Dew.

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